


The Patronus

by LoLoGreeneVines



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-05
Updated: 2012-07-05
Packaged: 2017-11-09 06:03:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/452159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoLoGreeneVines/pseuds/LoLoGreeneVines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The seventh-year Defence Against the Dark Arts class learn how to conjure Patronuses, resulting in a very awkward situation for Severus Snape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The seventh-year Defence Against The Dark Arts class had been looking forward to this particular lesson for months. Ever since buying their advanced text books from Diagon Alley during the summer and browsing through them in the evenings, the one spell that had especially stood out, the one they were all desperate to learn, was...

"The Patronus charm!" declared Professor Spungen, as soon as the class had filed in and the chatter had died down. As everybody took their seats, Professor Spungen continued. "A highly advanced charm, useful in combating Dementors and, as poor Flavius Belby once discovered, Lethifolds." Sitting at the back, a boy with greasy, black hair and a hooked nose coughed impatiently. "Yes, Snape?" Professor Spungen enquired. "I suppose you think you could do a better job of teaching this class, do you?"

"As a matter of fact, Professor," the boy responded irritably, "I think it too early in the lesson, as yet, for me to do anything but reserve my judgement for now." Professor Spungen gave a start, he wasn't used to Severus Snape showing insolence during class, obviously something had got the boy's back up. He also noticed that Snape's eyes kept on darting back and forth between the redheaded girl sat at the front and the perpetually bored black-haired boy in glasses, who at that moment was lounging in his chair and passing a slip of parchment to his neighbour, who was lazily waving his wand and making smoke rings appear out of it under the table.

"Potter! Black!" Professor Spungen barked. "Twenty points from Gryffindor! Now, pay attention, so I can teach you the theory. The incantation used to conjure a Patronus is Expecto Patronum. The word Patronus itself is Latin and means 'guardian', which it essentially is, the idea is that it forms a protective shield between yourself and the Dementor..."

However much Snape tried to pay attention to Professor Spungen's lecture on the etymology of everything Patronus-related, as usual, he had eyes for nobody but Lily Evans. Sitting four rows in front of him, taking notes with her head down, he couldn't help reflecting on their friendship as children, a friendship that had ended so abruptly two years ago. No, Snape told himself, don't think of that incident. He tried to block it out, and for a few seconds, he remembered the sight of her at that ball a few months ago, and he started to smile. His smile, however, turned into a scowl when he remembered how James Potter had asked her to dance, she'd accepted, and the next evening he'd spotted them embracing at the Gryffindor table during the meal.

SNAP. Snape hadn't noticed how tightly he'd been holding his quill, but now he was holding two distinctly separate pieces of feather. Shoot. Now he'd have to spend some money he didn't have on a new quill. The reality of that fact brought Snape out of his daydream and back to reality just in time to hear Professor Spungen say,

"The shape your Patronus will take depends on many different things. Everybody is different, and a multitude of factors including your personality, temperament, memory and past experiences will affect it. Expecto Patronum!"

The class hadn't been expecting a demonstration so quickly, and every single student had sat up, the better to get a good view of the shining silver boar that was now waddling around the classroom. Snape glanced at Lily, and saw her eyes light up in amazement, before she realised he was watching her and turned away, her face downcast. Snape scowled and turned to his notes. The boar faded, and Professor Spungen cleared his throat.

"Now you've seen my demonstration, I believe you're ready to attempt the Patronus charm yourselves. However, you need to remember that this is very highly advanced magic; you mustn't be surprised if it doesn't come the first time. The chances are that your thought just wasn't happy enough, if this is the case. Can you all stand up please, and form a line at the back of the classroom?"

The class obliged, and the desks and chairs were flung out to the sides of the classroom, freeing up the centre so there was enough space for everybody.

"Right, who's going first?" Professor Spungen asked eagerly. Snape withdrew to the very back of the line of students; after all, this was merely grandstanding. Of course, Potter would be the first to step forward, mahogany wand held aloft, with Lily's eyes on him.

"I'll do it, Professor!" James announced. Behind him, the fat Peter Pettigrew could barely contain his excitement. Snape still couldn't understand how that buffoon had achieved high enough marks in his OWL to get into the NEWT class, but he suspected Potter and Black had probably tried to help him to cheat. Lupin probably wasn't above acting as an accomplice either, prefect or no prefect; after all, HE went sneaking around the school once a month as a werewolf...

"Excellent!" Professor Spungen cried. "Let's see what you can do then, Potter!"

James closed his eyes for a second, flashed Lily a grin, raised his wand, and cried, "Expecto Patronum!" It came at once, a dazzling stag cantering away from James and circling the group of students, who were all milling around to watch.

"Oh, very good!" exclaimed Professor Spungen. "Ten points to Gryffindor! It's not every day you teach a class and somebody immediately gets it." James smirked at Sirius, as the stag went by for the third time before fizzling out. "Now, the rest of you try!"

The class split up and soon cries of "Expecto Patronum!" filled the classroom, in addition to copious amounts of silver vapour. Snape stood still where he was, watching his classmates try and fail to produce a Patronus, searching his mind for a strong enough memory to produce the class's best Patronus. He could see a stag, a big dog and a large wolf parading around a small group of people, but apart from the three, nobody was having much luck. Pettigrew was looking at his wand anxiously, having failed to even produce vapour, and Snape's own friends (if they could be called that) Avery, Mulciber and Nott hadn't managed to produce anything either.

Snape chanced a glance at Lily and noticed that her eyes were screwed up in concentration, while she muttered to herself. Eventually, she raised her willow wand and shouted "Expecto Patronum!" and the nondescript shape she'd been producing previously disappeared, to be replaced by a silver doe with large eyes and thick eyelashes. The rest of the class stopped attempting to conjure their own Patronuses, and the few that had been conjured flickered out, and the classroom fell silent as everybody's eyes were drawn to the doe, mesmerised by her beauty.

Professor Spungen was the one to break the silence. "Isn't it interesting," he said, "that in the one class we happened to find a stag and a doe?" Lily and James looked sheepishly at each other, and Snape could have hexed the latter. "Interesting indeed, that the characters of these two people invoke the similarities and differences of these two animals. The stag's impressiveness, the doe's beauty and compassion, the two animals are soulmates." Snape felt like killing. Preferably Potter. "What's even more fascinating is that this isn't just a case of one person copying the Patronus of another, which isn't uncommon for the person in love..."

Snape didn't hear any more of Professor Spungen's lecture, he simply froze where he was, in a panic, and tried to reason with himself. No, you're not in love, there won't be a problem. After a minute, he became aware that James Potter was poking him with his wand.

"Hey, Snivellus," he said softly. "Why haven't we seen your patronus yet? Scared you wouldn't be able to produce one? Scared your animal wouldn't be as impressive as mine? Scared we'll all see you for the oversized bat you are?"

"For your information," Snape retorted stiffly, "I've been observing these losers all fail to produce anything, and thinking about how great it will be when I manage to best you first time."

"Is that a fact?" James yawned. "Would you be willing to bet on that? Why don't you just go ahead and show us how great you are. Cast a Patronus right now in front of all of us, I dare you."

Snape felt his hatred bubble over. How dare James Potter turn it into a challenge? Come to think about it, how dare he have the other half of Lily's Patronus?

Now wasn't the time to get angry, Snape reasoned. He needed a happy memory to conjure this Patronus, and he was going to cast that Patronus, as now all eyes were on him and half of the class were jeering. To not cast one would be to admit defeat. No, he must rise to the challenge.

Snape racked his brains for the best memory of Lily he could find. He caught flashes of their childhood together, spending Christmases at the Evans' house, leaving frogspawn in Lily's sister, Petunia's pockets, being on the Hogwarts Express with Lily for the first time, there were so many memories he could have used. However, he then remembered a day just before the Christmas holidays in their third year, when they had gone down to Hogsmeade together, and she'd forgotten her scarf so they wrapped his around both of their necks and walked along together like that (probably looking like a right pair of idiots) for the entire afternoon. Yes, that memory would do nicely.

The class's jeers were starting to get louder, so before James could start accusing him of being chicken, Snape raised his wand to the sky and bellowed "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

A large, silver mass erupted from the wand and fell to the floor. It was dazzlingly bright and shone so luminously that the class all raised their hands in front of their faces, allowing for their eyes to adjust to the sparkling silver that was so much brighter than any of the other Patronuses had been. After ten seconds or so, Snape heard a gasp, and looked around to see Lily clutching James' arm. James himself looked furious, brandishing his wand threateningly in the direction of Snape's face. The class was utterly silent. Snape looked back to his Patronus, having adjusted to the light, and and immediately spotted the problem.

Oh no. OH NO. A doe...

Suddenly, the class burst into laughter. Sirius Black in particularly was finding the whole incident to be hilarious, he was clutching his side and roaring with laughter, evidently enjoying himself. The only people not laughing at Snape were Professor Spungen, who was looking thoughtful, Lily, who was now in tears and had hold of James so tightly he could have been her only tether to the ground, and James Potter himself, whose eyes were slits and whose wand was still pointing at Snape's face.

Without even waiting for Professor Spungen to pass a comment, Snape turned and fled from the classroom.


	2. Chapter 2

Dinner in the Great Hall that evening was a strained affair; Severus Snape had not been seen by anybody since his dash from the classroom of the disastrous Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson in the morning, and hadn't even turned up for Potions or Arithmancy after lunch. This was highly unusual, as, as Remus had pointed out to Sirius, Snape had even been known to refuse the hospital wing in favour of attending his lessons even when he had such severe influenza he could barely stop sneezing for even half a minute, much to the dismay of Madam Pomfrey and the seventh-year in general. Also conspicuously absent were Lily, who had vanished into the Gryffindor girls' dormitory at lunchtime, still in tears and refusing to emerge, and Mary Macdonald, who had opted to forgo the feast in order to comfort her friend.

The Marauders ate in silence, huddled together at the far end of the Gryffindor table by the Great Hall's door. Lightning forked across the enchanted ceiling every so often, and the thunderclaps from outside mingled with the chatter of the other students, making the silent group in the corner more inconspicuous. James scowled at his plate, stabbing pieces of chicken with his fork more viciously than was strictly necessary. Sirius, Remus and Peter were all keeping a close eye on James, who had barely uttered a word to anyone for the entire afternoon, but Sirius alone noticed how James would occasionally pause for a second, furrow his brow, and then return to mutilating his food.

"Prongs?" Sirius enquired, as Remus looked inquisitively at him. "Did you have something you wanted to say?" James frowned.

"No," he said decisively.

"Oh, OK then," said Peter, who turned back to his plate. Sirius aimed a kick at him under the table, and sure enough, he heard a dull thud as his foot found its mark on Wormtail's fleshy shin, earning him a reproachful look from Remus. Honestly, Sirius thought, it may not be polite to kick one's friends, but with Wormtail being so dense it was sometimes difficult to resist.

"Yes, actually," James muttered suddenly, still staring at his plate, as Peter dropped his potato on the floor and Remus raised an eyebrow at Sirius. "I've been doing quite a bit of thinking today." Sirius waited for an elaboration, but none came, and it was Remus who broke the new silence.

"You don't have to tell us if you don't want to, Prongs, but if you do want to, we're willing to listen." Sirius thought this was stating the obvious and unnecessary, but his best friend's brows unfurrowed slightly and he realised that Remus had said exactly the right thing. Of course. It was just like Moony to turn up the tact.

"I knew," James said simply. "I've known I loved Lily for really quite a long time, and seeing her Patronus this morning confirmed it. The moment I saw that doe I knew that she was the one, as it were, that this was the woman I could love until I died. And then," James spat, "Snivellus went and cast her Patronus!"

"I fail to see how that's a bad thing," Sirius said in between mouthfuls of runner beans. "It just means that you get to have one more thing Snivelly doesn't. It's just one more reason for him to be jealous of you." Remus frowned, but didn't berate him.

"But," James continued,"how do I know that that doe was Lily's Patronus?"

"You've lost me," Remus said. Peter was also looking bewildered.

"How do I know that doe wasn't Snivelly's Patronus all along, and she copied it from him? She was friends with him! She was the only person who was friends with him! What if she loves him, and not me?"

"You're barking, mate," Sirius said. "Lily's crazy about you. Anybody with eyes can see that."

"And it's no secret that they spent their summers together for years and years, and nobody knows what might have happened then!" James continued irately, as though he hadn't heard Sirius. "You know," he mused under his breath, "I was going to ask her to marry me." The other three Marauders gaped at him, and Peter let out a squeak.

"But Prongs, that's great!" Sirius exclaimed. "But what's all this about 'was'?" James scowled again.

"After the incident this morning, I don't think I can. Not if there's any chance that it's Snivelly she loves." James' voice broke, and he plunged his knife into his chicken breast with such force that his plate split in two. The smaller part flew across the narrow table and hit Peter in the face. Peter gave a yelp of pain, as blood started pouring from his nose. "Sorry, Wormy," James said miserably, and he vaguely waved his wand in the direction of Peter's face. "Epi..."

"Hold it, Prongs," Remus interrupted. "You don't want to risk accidentally blasting his nose off, and the state you're in, nothing would surprise me. I'll do it." Remus raised his own beech wand. "Episkey." Peter rubbed his nose and looked up at Remus with admiration.

"I wish I could do that," Peter said longingly, before turning back to James. "Anyway, Prongs, I think you should ask Lily to marry you."

"How can I, though, when she obviously wants him?"

"James, you're being silly," Remus pointed out. "You heard what Professor Spungen said about the stag and the doe being each others' soul mates, of course the doe is Lily's. Do you honestly think Snape would have the other half of your Patronus?"

Sirius sniggered. "Yeah Prongs, because you and Snivellus would obviously be a perfect match!" he said snidely. James frowned, but then his face began to light up, and Sirius didn't think it was only because an array of desserts had just appeared on the table in front of them.

"You're both talking... sense, actually," James said. "Yeah! I'm going to propose to Lily at the next opportunity I get, so she can't change her mind and go for Snivelly!" This time, it was Remus' turn to frown.

"But James," he calmly pointed out, "do you have any idea how cruel that would be to Snape?"

"I'm not following you, Moony," James said sceptically, as he helped himself to a bowl of trifle and began mashing it to a pulp.

"Put yourself in his position. Say you've just made yourself extremely vulnerable by revealing your love for somebody, in front of that person and their partner in addition to a host of other classmates, and then the partner proposes to them to spite you? How would you feel? You know, copying a Patronus isn't a common thing, it only happens when you really love somebody, as it means that all of your happiest memories are with them. Considering Lily has barely looked at Snape for two years, let alone spoken to him, that's really saying something. It would be nothing short of cruelty. Do you really want to inflict that on another human? I know Snape's deeply unpleasant, but surely even he doesn't deserve that?"

"Oh Moony," Sirius said. "Why've you got to be such a buzzkill? Prongs can do whatever he likes. He loves Lily, why shouldn't he marry her? And, quite frankly, Snivelly's always trying to curse Prongs at every opportunity he gets, so why should Prongs show compassion now?"

"I'm not saying Prongs shouldn't ask Lily to marry him, after all, their Patronuses speak for themselves," Remus said thoughtfully. "I'm just saying that maybe he should wait the two months until the end of term to ask her." James cleared his throat indignantly. "I realise I can't dictate that for you," Remus started again, before James could interrupt, "but it would mean that Snape would be out of the way and you couldn't be inflicting such pain on him." James didn't look entirely convinced. "At the very least, it'll make it much less likely that he'll bully the Gryffindor password out of a first-year and kill you in your sleep."

"I agree with Remus," Peter spoke up, looking hopefully up at James, whose trifle had by now reached the consistency of lumpy mashed potatoes and looked equally unappetising.

"You know, Moony, I hate it when you're right," James said quietly. "Nobody deserves that kind of torture. Even Snivellus." He spat out the final word.

"So you're willing leave it for a couple of months?" Peter inquired, chewing a mouthful of custard tart.

"Hardly," James scoffed. "But it doesn't look like I have much choice."

"You're doing the right thing, Prongs," Remus said, reaching out a hand to clap James on the shoulder. Sirius rolled his eyes, but nobody noticed.

The Marauders ended their meal in silence, and when their bowls were empty they got up and left for Gryffindor tower together.

"By the way, guys," James said after the Great Hall doors had swung shut behind them and the friends started ascending the staircase. "If any of you let slip that I intend to propose to Lily, you can expect that Filch will find out whom exactly was behind that Mrs. Norris-on-the-roof prank you pulled when I was in the hospital wing last week. He thinks it was Peeves, I heard him going on about it to Dumbledore the other day. Wouldn't it be a shame to disabuse him of that comfortable notion?"

"Mate, it wouldn't be the worst trouble we've ever been in," Sirius pointed out. "All the same, of course we're not going to let it slip."

"Padfoot's right, Prongs," Remus added. "It's an honour to be trusted with such a secret." Peter nodded vigorously.

"When you do ask her, she's bound to say yes," Peter said as they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"Password?" trilled the Fat Lady.

James looked at his feet, before uttering the one word swimming around in his head. "Aspiration," he said. The portrait swung forwards and the Marauders clambered into the common room.


	3. Chapter 3

Try as she might, Mary could not get her best friend to stop crying.

"Come on, Lils, this really isn't that big of a deal. You need to come out of the dormitory at some point. You can't cry forever."

"Why not?" Lily sobbed. "As far as I'm concerned, this is the worst thing that could have possibly happened. I'm such a horrible person!" she wailed, as a portrait of an old man with a long beard looked at her with concern.

Mary was puzzled. "Lily, I don't quite understand exactly why you're making such a big thing out of this." Lily took out a tissue and blew her nose.

"Did you not see his Patronus?" Lily demanded, her emerald green eyes swimming with tears. "Do you not understand what this means? He loves me, Mary. This is why he always had it in for poor James, and... and..." a fresh wave of tears overcame her as she struggled for words. "You remember when he came up to Gryffindor tower the day he called me a mudblood? He apologised, and I rejected the apology because I couldn't understand what would make me different from the other people he had called that disgusting name. Although I still can't forgive his pureblood supremacy," she continued, "this changes things."

"What are you saying, Lily?" Mary asked tentatively. "Do you love Snape?"

"No," Lily said firmly. "That's why I feel so guilty. Guilty for loving his archrival. Guilty for cutting off all ties with him. Guilty for..."

"Don't be silly," Mary said. "So you chose James. Snape'll get over it. You cut off all ties with him because you finally realised what a nasty piece of work he is. You are not a horrible person, in fact, you're probably the nicest person at Hogwarts."

Lily gave her a watery smile. "You really think so?" she asked.

"Of course," Mary responded, relieved that her friend seemed to be finally cheering up. "Now, do you want to go down to the Great Hall? The feast's probably not over yet and you look as though you could do with some food..."

"You go," Lily said. "There's something I have to do. I'll see you later." With that, Lily jumped to her feet and darted out of the girls' dormitory. By the time Mary had got up herself and descended the spiral staircase to the Gryffindor common room, Lily had already disappeared.

Lily knew exactly where to go. How much time had she and Severus spent lurking down by the boathouse by the lake, feeding fish to the birds? She ran down the seemingly endless stone steps as fast as she could without slipping, which was a tricky feat considering the rain was pouring down them in sheets, like a waterfall. Despite the fact that her wand was lighting her a path, it was so dark that the occasional flashes of lightning illuminating her way were welcome.

Lily fought to keep her balance as she heard the rumble of thunder, closely followed by a spectacular fork of lightning. Her red hair was plastered to her face and her robes were soaked through, as she'd neglected to cast the impervius charm before leaving the castle, but she didn't care. All that was important was that she found Severus.

Just before she reached the boathouse, Lily muttered "nox," and the light on the tip of her wand went out.

Snape had been sitting on his own on the platform in the boathouse since running out of Defence Against the Dark Arts that morning, reliving memories of afternoons spent with Lily. A deluge of rain poured down on the boathouse roof, tiny hammers striking metal, as Snape frowned. Lily had never liked the rain, he thought, closing his eyes. She preferred sunshine, it matched her perpetual mood.

As he opened his eyes, he saw a slim silhouette outlined by the gloom. He rubbed his eyes, certain he'd been imagining it. It's just because you were thinking about her, Snape thought to himself. However, when he opened his eyes again the silhouette was still there, and after a second there was another flash of lightning, and Snape caught sight of a pair of bright green eyes behind a curtain of sopping hair. His eyes widened as he realised he wasn't hallucinating; Lily was really there, and she had come to find him herself after the disastrous lesson earlier. This thought cheered him up. Suddenly, Lily spoke.

"I'm sorry," she said, as she turned around and started walking back up to the castle. Snape panicked. He was so convinced she was here to tell him that she'd left James, that she really loved him, it was something of a shock when it became apparent that she wasn't going to say anything else. Snape decided to call out to her.

"Couldn't you..."

Lily stopped walking, but didn't turn around. "No, Sev, I can't. I love James. I'm sorry," she repeated. As she continued walking up the stairs, Snape knew there was no hope. Lily, HIS Lily, had made up her mind.

"I love you," he said quietly, certain the small figure already on the steps couldn't hear him over the roar of the rumbling thunder.


End file.
